And as for Pakistan's idea of using tactical nukes to repel an Indian invasion -- yeah, right

Nukes are a very inefficient way of attacking troops dispersed in the field. To have any significant effect on an Indian invasion over a broad front, Pakistan would either have to use dozens of nukes on its own territory, or hit more concentrated, high-value targets like air bases, logistical hubs, and follow-on forces on the Indian side of the border. Doing the latter would ensure Indian retaliation in kind, in an environment where there are civilians, large numbers of them, everywhere.