So here's what you do... Depending on the census of each school, you hire (some would require 2 others could be 10) SCHOOL SHOOTER SHOOTERS. Here's their requirements:
1. 4 YEARS EXPERIENCE IN UNITED STATES MILITARY OR FORMER U.S. CITY/STATE/FEDERAL LAW ENFORCEMENT.
2. Must be retired, honorably discharged, or resigned in good standing.
3. Must pass strict Federal lifetime background check. No felonies or violent crimes permitted. Must pass regular mental health screenings, "e.g." 6 in years 1-2, 3 in years 3-5, 1 annually year 6 and on.
4. $75k per year salary w bomb *** government benefits. Same schedule as the teachers. Summer's off. M-F 7:00 - 5:30!
5. Here's the best part. There's almost 139, 000 public schools throughout the country. Say that each school class size averaged a number that required 3.5 of my S.S.S's. I just created 486,500 jobs in the United States of America!!! I also wasted a huge amount of my personal time and phone battery. Time to finish this damn quiz.
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